This is one of those posts that makes my heart weighted. I’ve had it saved as a draft for several days because I knew I needed to have the emotional capacity to write it…not so much because it’s painful to write, but more so because this Hallelujah Moment I refer to is so pivotal – at least it was for me. Maybe not everyone has one of these moments…maybe that’s something to be thankful for…each of our journeys is different because we are all unique with a unique purpose. I love reflecting on this moment in my life – not the painful thing that caused it, but rather the raw and vulnerable moment with God that brought me to my knees at His feet in tears…my Mary of Bethany moment (John 12:3).
Have you ever experienced something in your life that makes you feel like your choices altered the course of it and even altered your heart to the very core? I’ve already blogged about that particular incident in my life (Buried But Never Forgotten), so I won’t rehash all of those details. My hallelujah moment was many years later after much healing – after so many layers had been peeled back, and I was finally able to see the truth. It was in that moment that I broke down into hysterical tears and wept and wept and wept…the beauty of it was that I wept at the feet of my Savior and my greatest Love while He stroked my hair. I was finally able to look at Him and tell Him how sorry I was that I ran from Him because of shame instead of running to Him to make it right. I felt like I had turned my back on not just myself and my values, but like I had forsaken Him and let Him down beyond repair. It was a clear plot of Satan, as it usually is…he feels threatened so he tries his hardest to separate us from God…but those that love God with the deepest love can always find their way back to Him. He is always there waiting with the most tender eyes and loving arms – no anger just enormous love.
It was so freeing for me to tell Him how sorry I was for breaking His heart – it was so freeing for me to tell Him how heartbroken I was. It was the most beautiful, healing moment. I think the most healing thing of all was standing on the truth, cradled in His arms, reveling in His love…our hearts united at the deepest level knowing that they could never be pulled apart again. Do you know how much our heavenly Father adores it when we go running to Him full speed ahead, unstoppable until we are in His arms? He longs for that. He longs for us to shower Him with our love. Our love makes His eyes dance. Our love makes His heart sing. There is no moment that can possibly be more intimate. This hallelujah moment puts you back on course – leaving that thing that took you off course at the foot of the cross while you take your Love’s hand and continue your resurrection journey.
There are several references to this hallelujah moment in the Bible – the two that stand out to me the most are Samson and David. It was the story of Samson that made me have this revelation…how he lost his power when he let Delilah shave his head(Judges 16:18). My power was my heart and being able to love without abandon…I let someone take that from me, and it was indeed heartbreaking and had lots of consequences, but it didn’t make God love me any less – and in the end it made me love Him so much more. My favorite hallelujah moment in the Bible was when David realized that he had sinned against the Lord with Bathsheba (2 Samuel 12). I love David’s heart. I’ve always loved his heart! He loved God so much! He was so quick, once he recognized the truth, to fall on his knees and weep before the Lord for betraying Him.
I pray that if you have something in your life that altered your heart, you will have your very own hallelujah moment – I pray you will find Him because He is waiting for you with more love than you could ever fathom. I pray that this moment will set you back on course to experience life in your rightful place – you are His Beloved – Prince/Princess – Son/Daughter of a King. You were created for a wonderful and significant purpose – it’s time to walk in that while your proud Daddy’s heart beats in tune with yours to the melody of His love!